Cheating to win?

Are you ready to cheat to win? Are you those which believe that the end justifies the means and that it is necessary to do everything to win? I am not talking about the use of steroids or any other illegal act. No, I am talking about the small cheating that we make and which, sometimes, seems to be part of the game. Indeed, who never gave a small kick on its golf ball or 'forgot' to count a penalty? Hmmm? Who never pretended a fault in basketball after loosing the ball to influence the referee? Hmmm?

I thought about this after a friend spoke to me about a comment his son made to him the other day. His 11 years old son is a goalkeeper in hockey. During a game, there was a tight play close to the goal and the young keeper stopped the puck right on the goal line... at least it is what the referee saw. The other team players believed to have scored but the decision of the referee remained and the game continued. On the way back home, his son acknowledged to him: "You know, dad, the puck had crossed the line." My friend was a little bit disturbed. A side of him said that it is not correct and the other side said that it is part of the game and that it is the duty of the referee to call the shots. However, it is the second side that won. Which side would you have chosen?

Personally, I would have also made the same choice. To cheat or, if you like better, to play with the rules, are in fact part of the game... up to a certain limit, of course. And this limit is determined by the judgment of the referees and the interpretation which they make of the rules. Moreover, I am of the opinion that the champions are often the best cheaters. Look for example with hockey, still. Look at the center players who are famous to win their face-offs. They all cheat. They always move too quickly. Sometimes, they get caught by the referee but they get to a point where they succeed in being right on the line of the acceptable one. And this line varies from one referee to another and they have to adjust. One often speaks about experience in these cases... but that remains cheating ;-) And what about those soccer goalkeepers during penalty shots?

As parents, how does one have to react? I know that the majority among you would have made the same choice as my friend. How I know it? Notice your reaction when a referee error disadvantages you; you criticize and you protest. But when this same error supports you, not a word ;-) Don't feel bad, it is completely in the human nature to act like this. You cheer for your children. You want them to win because you know that they will be glad to win. And you get carried away. In any event, your child would be the first to complain if you do not react; -)

This said, there are limits, you'll agree with me. Fair-play must always be a golden rule in sports and this must be taught to the children. It is the coaches and parents duty to delimit what is acceptable of what is not. As a coach, it happened to me a few times, for example in basketball, to ask one of my players to give the ball to the opponent or to voluntarily throw the ball outside to compensate for an error of the referee. At first, the players and the crowd look at you strangely: "That's it! The coach lost it!" But after thinking, the message is understood.

Victory acquired in the code of practice is more appreciated than a victory acquired while cheating... even if one can allow some irregularities in the excitement of the game ;-)

 

Pathetic father & son story

In January, I wrote an article about the danger of parents becoming agents for their kids. Well take a look at this pathetic father & sun story and you will get exactly the picture.

Thanks to the owner of Grouchy Golf blog for showing me this article.

 

Mixed feelings

In my many years of involvement in sports, very often I noticed what I call 'mixed feelings' from parents. You know, the 'good news - bad news' feelings.

Good news! Your boy made the cut for the elite soccer team.
Bad news! He's going to play against teams from out of town and it will cost you a lot of money.

Or this one that just happened to me a few days ago:

Good news! Your daughter just classified herself for the Nationals in gymnastic.
Bad news! You live in Montreal and the Nationals are in Vancouver. It is going to cost you $2000 to send her there.
Bad news again! The Nationals are in 3 weeks ;-(

Like I said, I witnessed a lot of these events during the years. That made me create, 5 years ago, my own foundation to financially help young gymnasts (boys and girls) and there parents to participate in important events. No parents want to announce to their child that they won't be participating in a big event because of the lack of funds. But unfortunately, it happens. Can you prepare yourself to prevent that? Of course you can ;-)

First, if there is even a slim chance that you're child might participate in a big event, you should start right now to put money on the side. You are better off putting money on the side for nothing than having to find money at the last minute. Even if it is only $20 per week, at the end of the year, you will have $1000. You can also ask for money instead of gifts for birthday and Christmas. Some parents think that it might bring bad luck or it might look presumptuous to do so. Well, I am not at all superstitious and I don't believe in bad luck (or good luck for that matters) so I won't be very helpful in that case but one thing I'm sure; being preventive is not being presumptuous. And if your kid doesn't make it, well, the good news will be that you will have this extra money ;-)

I don't believe in bad luck but I do believe in pressure on young athletes. Kids react differently to pressure. As a parent, you are the best person to evaluate the situation. For some kids, it might take some pressure off their shoulders knowing that a good performance won't put you in financial problems. For other kids, it might give them more pressure knowing that you are expecting them to win. It's your call.

Organizations can also help their athletes. I know that most of the organizations are non-profit and survive due to the help of volunteers but they usually have a little more cash flow than the average parents. Well some do, anyway ;-) One easy way to help is giving a no-interest loan. In other words, the organization pays for the athlete and collect the parents later. That will give time to the parents. The risk is minimum for the organization mostly if the athlete has been a member for a long time. Of course, you need to feel comfortable with this and trust the parents that they will pay you. And this action should be approved by the board of direction because you are using your members money.

Doing special fundraising activities is another solution. Car wash, wine tasting, garage sales, golf tournament are all good fundraisers and are pretty easy to organize.

There might be also some charity organizations in your community that can help. Look around. One thing is sure: the best your kid gets in his sport, the more money it will cost you. And if you don't want to be a show stopper to your child dream, it is a good idea to be prepared.